Tuesday, February 02, 2016

I punch Myself In the Face : Election 2016


Sky Falling ©2016 Turtle Heart



editorial opinion
@2016 Turtle Heart

The other day I was watching the news, the coverage of Flint Michigan…sort of grim news that was sneaked in between the Donald Trump coverage. The story of an actual Gov who took away elected officials, destroying democracy in his state (and somehow not being arrested for it)…a wormy, tiny, high-voiced pissy little white man. Flint Michigan with one school nurse for the entire school system. No grocery stores because the “big chain” supermarkets will not build in poor black communities. Thousands of children poisoned with toxic water. Thousands. For two years. The wormy Gov still not arrested.

I wept. I banged my head on my desk and tears poured down my face. My fucking country, the United States.

The Republicans. The GOP. In control of 37 states. They did this. The GOP. A party now so toxic, so stupid, they are dangerous to humanity, a threat to civilisation. Actual monsters. So I wept. In shame and outrage.

I read these stories. These outrages. Often I take the time to read the comments. In the face of so much disgrace, I read comment after comment where people actually support these bastards, these liars, these criminals, these inept, posturing, piss-faced clowns that populate the Republican party.

I write and publish my own words. So I can say whatever I want. I don’t have to be nice. I don’t have to be polite. Maybe Donald Trump has given us all permission to say it as we feel it. Maybe if writers like me scream and curse and weep and call out the GOP something will change.

I don’t live in America anymore. I got out. I would like to say I live in a better place. In many respects, I do. But Italy is very high on the Corruption Scale. It has one of the most inept, stupid, cowardly, over-paid and clueless governments on earth. Yet, even with the corruption and incompetence, every person here has health care. Every person has food to eat and a place to live and a little money in their pocket. In America I have been homeless. I have been sick with no way to see a doctor. I have lived in poverty with not a penny to my name sometimes. In America. But never in Italy, corrupt and inept though it is.

I voted in the last two elections for Obama. I would have preferred to vote for HRC. I think, in spite of everything, Obama has been a good President. I also think he jumped the gun. Was impatient for useless self-confirmation. He should not have run when he did. That’s my could have been take. Has the intervening time broken HRC? Answer: no.

Young People. This fractured demographic apparently likes Bernie Sanders. Bernie Sanders. A bat shit crazy old man. Sanders is a more user-friendly version of Donald Trump. If American voters were disgusted and astonished at the near absolute opposition of the GOP to every word out of Obama’s mouth, with Sanders they have seen nothing yet. If Sanders were to become President, dogs would refuse to bark, champagne would refuse to fizz, the Eagle would refuse to fly and it would snow up, rather than down. Sanders would be an absolute disaster…and perhaps it is in fact the GOP, actual Republican voters who are out voting for Sanders…imitating Claire McCaskill in hand-picking her opponent. The GOP would love to see Sanders as the candidate. I believe republicans are voting for Sanders as the best way to stop Clinton. Otherwise we are left with the conclusion that America’s young people have lost their souls, lost their minds, lost their way and have replaced confusion with reason in this decidedly strange election cycle. 

So. Occasionally, now, before I gather the latest news; I punch myself in the face. To be sure I am awake. To be sure I can feel. To give me the strength to watch more Donald Trump and Ted Cruz…with the sound off…because no way will I listen to these “men” actually speak. One can learn a great deal by watching politicians with the sound turned off. Body language often tells a leaner, more subtle truth. And you don’t end up throwing your TV out the window, at least not so much.


Friday, January 15, 2016

White Walkers, GOP 2016 : Part Two

Bear In A Storm : ©2016 Turtle Heart





opinion
©2016 Turtle Heart

The zeal and passion of Trump supporters appears to also include brand loyalty. They say they will stick with their man in very high numbers. So far..

Looking in eight directions, I see shifting winds, new storms, gray apathy, surprises and no certain outcome. This period right now could in fact be one worthy of alarm. An actual cluster-fuck of possibly infinite chaos. When a mistake is made and repeated often expands from simple agitation into chaos as it is repeated and therefore magnified. Mr Trump is far more than just a mistake.

2012 sowed the seeds, arguably, for something very possible and very probable to shift and reshape itself in the GOP. An old astrologer might tell you that Pluto was right up in the middle of everything the GOP was about in 2012. Not knowing well what that means is exactly why the error was so able to advance to the pickle we have here right now. Something had to absolutely give in 2012. Either the GOP was going to man up and take its lumps, and honour the form of law and the oaths of office they aspire to, or they were going to shuffle along in the same old way (but that was impossible), or possibly change some of their core policies (not a single one), or break into bitter, invective fuelled factions, and thereby light a fuse that may destroy the party once and for all, as we have known it. There are voices that could suggest reason. However, one look at the Hon. Trey Gowdy, and his body language at the 2016 State of the Union, you know the whole tree is poisoned down to root and seed. That was a truly low picture for the southern cause. I am sure his donations increased as a result. That’s where we find ourselves. This sad picture is accompanied by the refrain; White People Blues. Instead of, yet again, somehow embracing and recognising the tens of millions of non-white voters in the USA, the GOP is once again doubling down on its singular faith in the white vote, and nothing else. 

I find myself thinking about the pending vote with conflicted feelings. I can not see myself voting for Bernie Sanders. He seems a fevered salesman selling his “plan”. The fever is what I find troubling. To what end? It would be impossible to vote for any of the GOP “candidates”. I will vote for Hilary Clinton if that vote is available. Baggage and all. With emails. From Benghazi if I have to. I won’t vote for anyone else. Maybe. Probably. But we should all vote. There may be no excuse for not voting if you can physically get out the door or mail an envelope. I will keep chewing on this bitter turnip until the polls open. I probably won’t know until they do. How I’m going to vote. I know, at least, that the democrats know how to count.

The books, film and tv are overflowing with dark stories peopled by distant heroes, sometimes, and villains all the more sinister for their absolute banality. Mr. Trump. Mr Cruz. Jeb!. A field of persons whose banality makes Chris Christy invisible and irrelevant. The error is multiplying. All across society. All the canaries in all the dark tunnels are dying.

HRC is, in fact, not very good at “campaigning”. A more correct way to say this is that, as a woman candidate, she has to be 10 times better at the campaign schtick than a man to get the same amount of credit. I wish she had the courage to, perhaps, not campaign at all. The whole “campaign” culture is pretty confusing, conflicted and polluted beyond repair, perhaps, by all the 3rd party millions of $ everywhere you look. We all know who she is, or think we do, at this point. It is possible that American society has become, collectively, so dumbed down that the “performance art” of campaigning has more sway than the actual content of the candidate’s soul and bones, ie., policies and ideas.

The situation for the GOP is transform, evolve, or die. The bad news is that, given the toxic way in which voting districts are drawn, by the white majority in those regions to favour themselves, the GOP will continue to win seats in government; nationally and locally. This part being the most shameful element of the entire story: the Voters. This factualism is why the term “White Walkers” so perfectly applies to the GOP as it now exists. Automationism among the Voter Class. People who cannot be persuaded by any means now known to stop voting for idiots on the Right. It is an unnatural condition, like the zombied White Walkers in Game of Thrones. My late father was one of these people. He always voted. Always voted GOP. No matter what. Many of the voters in this class actually prefer to remain factually uninformed on any and all the issues. The thing to do is Vote Republican. This is the entire formula by which, for example, Fox News is able to dominate information resources in America. They are fuelled, cheered on, by a corrupt, lunatic fringe of so-called "Christians" so far to the lunatic right that we now have the truly blind leading the blind to....exactly where? The "Evangelical Vote"..? My God, I can think of no people in America more toxic, more depraved than self-identified Christian voters. Yet these disturbed, sociopathic people, and their hysterical, deranged "leadership" appear to be the coveted, secret weapon on the imploding GOP. And proud of it. And Ted Cruz is their champion.

I do not want to know a person who would vote for The Donald. Or any person who tells me how "intelligent" Ted Cruz is. Just looking at such people induces nausea. I literally weep in frustration and dread at the possibilities for doom and chaos if one of these unrepentant ghosts should ascend to the Presidency: Donald “Quack Quack” Trump. It is perverse the way the main stream media covers Quack Quack Donald. Many of the MSM talking heads live and socialise in the “celebrity” circles. In that world The Donald (Quack Quack) is well known from TV shows, real estate hype, and so forth. They figure he is like them. Fellow celebrities. But they forget this “event” is for the US President. They don’t question, they don’t challenge, they don’t look beneath the surface…at all. They hunger for the ratings his presence brings. Desperately. And that is just sad. Sad for America. Sad for the world. But, great for the cause of the White Walkers.

Quack. Quack.


Thursday, December 24, 2015

Solstice of Winter : Shadow Dreams

©2015 Turtle Heart : Red Eagle Woman

























ring
your heart like a bell
sing
your name, sacred
up into the open sky
dream
your way forward
goodbye
to what could have been
what might have been
find 
your open heart
move
your life, dream, song
and name
follow
the open gate of the sky
everything
really could be better
touch
the earth, look up
look down. 
breathe
silence is the prayer we share

solstice of winter
22 december 2015
5:48 am cet

Friday, December 11, 2015

The Words Coming Out of Your Mouth



Editorial: Turtle Heart ©2015
Being responsible for the words that come out of your mouth is one of the vital rules or principles of being a responsible, sane human adult. It is the difference between being a good person and in being an idiot, coward, divisive fool. This “rule” was impressed upon me from the very beginning of my education and experience with the old American Indians. I learned this lesson when I was very young. It did not come from the “Bible”, or from Sunday School. It was not a teaching at my high school or in the university. It was said in plain, elegant English by the old American Indians (Elders). Not in an isolated conversation in the shadows somewhere. By all of them. Everywhere.

Take. Responsibility. For. The. Words. Coming. Out. Of. Your. Mouth.

Today. Right now. The sheer volume of trash and invective coming out of the mouths of degenerate, self-worshipping clowns like Donald Trump, Mitch McConnell, Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Ben Carson, and the ghost known as Jeb! is, at best, a complete denial of this sacred rule…this essential measure of leadership and honour as a human being.

Every good teacher understands this “rule”. One cannot be an effective teacher of science, history, or any rational subject, who disregards this necessity.

Lies are exposed, injustices revealed, revelations confirmed only through a responsible use of words, of language, of meaning.

Take a few examples:

Ted Cruz. The most common refrain: “He is very intelligent”. True Intelligence is much like a deep river, running deep and long. Ted Cruz’ intelligence, to me, in comparison, is like a pool of baby urine on the sidewalk. The praise for this pear-shaped man’s “intelligence” is universal and unceasing. So what about the (bat shit crazy) words that come out of his mouth? (1): They violate the rule (2): He is running a spectacular con on AmeriKa. He actually does not believe the words that come out of his mouth. And therein lies the problem. He is not being responsible for the words that come out of his mouth: his words are a shyster act…the “long con”. The many millions of what we can charitably call “uninformed” but reflexive GOP voters are his suckers. Cruz is cunning. Predatory. True intelligence should be measured by how closely behaviour and beliefs support the actual truth of life and core human values. In this crucial measure of intelligence, real intelligence, Cruz fails completely.

Donald Trump. Appears to actually believe the words that come out of his mouth. But only when he is saying them. These words are the product of a mind stuck in a toilet. Trump is a pandering, opportunistic person. So while he appears to believe the words coming out of his mouth, those words change with every shift in the wind. The so-called “beliefs” behind those words is no less shifty. He abuses the rule of responsibility through pandering. We have no idea what he believes when he is silent.

Jeb!. Jeb! has no words. He has no beliefs. He is the classic “wooden man” referred to by Thoreau. The words that come from his mouth are put there by handlers and managers. They have no point of occupation or origin in his actual body. Real words of truth come from deep inside the body. Speaking truth originates “from the belly” according to Shinto belief, for example. Jeb! does not even breathe when he speaks. Rubio is a mini-version of Jeb!. Less mature. Same spoon fed “beliefs” put there by his handlers.

Bill O’Reilley. A bully. An entertainer. Like Cruz, he does not believe the words that come from his mouth. His words are chosen (1) to dominate, (2) to entertain. Otherwise, he is empty. An ugly bag of mostly water. There is nothing there. Ted Cruz is running a scam, so he actually wants something. O’Reilly wants nothing. He has no ambition beyond getting attention.

Time Magazine. (Person of the Year). Time is an American magazine that primarily sells advertisement space in glossy format. If you look at a copy of this magazine, by far the most prominent feature is the advertisements. The so-called actual content is buried in the ads. The highly “celebrated” person of the year cover that comes out every year is nonsense. It has nothing to do with taking responsibility for speaking the truth. Like Sport’s Illustrated “swimwear” issue, is is designed to sell magazines. This is highly professional, actually celebrated abuse of the rule. The American Media, “champions” of the Free Press.

Body Language. Body language should be in harmony with the words coming out of your mouth. Many times when people, especially republicans, are speaking on by monitor, I mute the sound and watch their body language. If you are taking responsibility for the words coming out of your mouth, the body language will match up precisely with your words. One of the greatest shows ever on TV was a Tim Roth project called “Lie To Me”. It was a one-hour drama which studied through detective style tactics, the body language of the various protagonists in a whole series of plots. The had a candidate for Supreme Court judge, police officers, so-called terrorists, and other professionals whose “words coming out of their mouths” were exposed as not correct based upon observing their body language.

US Presidential First Lady Michelle Obama. 100%. She walks it. She talks it. Her body laguage confirms it. Yes, it is possible to take responsibility for every word coming out of your mouth. To say it, believe it, and live it. A public person living in truth. She is what that looks like.

Hilary Rodham Clinton. She takes her words very seriously. She searches like a good hunter for words she can believe in before she speaks them. She does not always believe in the actual issue she is speaking about, but she always believes in and takes responsibility for the words she uses to discuss them. Body language matches up. In terms of this sacred rule, she has the best integration we have seen…body language matches up. And she has been consistent for decades.

Bernie Sanders. WTF? No. Thank you. I get nothing. Nothing at all.

If you use this “rule” of the sacred of the old Indians to measure and evaluate political candidates, for example, you will get a reaction inside your own body. You will go deeper than just your “thinking” and tap into the root of instinct and intuition. You will learn quickly and clearly to understand when and if someone is speaking the truth…or not. You will learn to trust your conclusions. 

What could be more precious than that?

Turtle Heart

Monday, November 16, 2015

Paris Blue Shadow Blues 2015


©2015
paris, 13 november twenty fifteen

dreams fall like bullets
bleeding onto the street
bleeding onto the street
the heartless shadows
praised the darkness and reloaded
smiling, innocent, alive just a moment ago
pride, prejudice, religion transmuted into hate
fingers on the trigger
the people become the howling
weeping truth, re-described as sacred
bleeding onto the street
bleeding onto the street
someone put a flower in a bullet hole
lighted a candle on the bloody street
played a piano to the bowing crowd
huddled together in mystery and grief
I was far, far away
yet my soul was nearby, right there
bleeding onto the street
bleeding onto the street
hope, rage, forgiveness, revenge
tears and silence in cold waves
all of that buried me in screams
where strangers gathered into family
no one wanted to be alone
bleeding onto the street
bleeding onto the street
I was choked in bitterness
breathing flames into the cold dark night
silence breaking my heart
I could not turn away
eyes open, heart on fire,
I took a deep breath
as the whole world wept
praising God
where he fell
bleeding onto the street

bleeding onto the street

........ William Fredric Posey

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

White Walker Chronicles: The (GOP) Zombie Class

©2016 : Tobacco Advertisement 1870

Editorial Content: The Republican Debates
Copyright ©2015 Turtle Heart


The Walking Dead, aka the Republican Party, have lined up, edge to edge on your monitor. Brains. Zombie Brains are said to be delicious, but fluffy (to much air) and unsatisfying (to much salt, no sugar).

The carefully engineered dominance of the political right across the entire country…its control of states, local governments…and its cost in the billions of dollars by a handful of white men…seems from a distance to be a virus, exactly like the virus that creates zombi society on our televisions. If you look at a big map, it looks like a blight, a massacre perhaps. Given the diverse history of the United States, it does not seem a natural act. Like the zombie invasion.

America whither goest thou upon thy golden elephant? 

I got out ten years ago. Just in time. But Italy, my new country, is not America. I miss peanut butter and New Mexico green chilli and buffalo stew. I don’t miss Americans. Not a single one.

Speech: Their speech is abysmal. It has the intellectual content of a 3 year old or a precocious dog. Who teaches these people how to speak? We know, in fact, that they do pay extravagantly for teachers and handlers who tell them such basic things as how to stand in place and make a complete sentence. They cannot, however, apparently, manufacture literacy or coherence in these standing suits. Ben Carson tells us he tried to hit his mother in the head with a hammer when he was a teenager? Is he telling us it does not even matter what candidates say? Body Language: Do you pay attention to the way Ben Carson waves his hands around? The way he bounces on his heels when he is talking? The jutting chip and pinched up shoulders of Bush?…the belligerent bully that Trump? Bobby Jindal? So many of these people demonstrate serious problems in their body language…but no one in the media pays attention to body language. Every network, in my view, should have consultants who advise them on body language. If you research even a little, you can see comparisons of how truly great leaders in history moved their hands and held their bodies when they spoke before the people. Compare the dignity and elegant stillness of Martin Luther King to the marionetted, completely weird movements of Ben carson’s body. Watching these people, listening to their dia-tripe, the unrelenting, overly detailed, slightly hysterical obsession of the media with a campaign more than one year away all . My root impulse when I see these candidates is a desire to punch them in the face. I would challenge anyone interested in figuring out who to vote for in the next election to watch, without sound, the body language of these candidates, all of them. Turn down the volume and just watch how they stand, how they move when they speak.The only two candidates who stand straight and seem to actually be inside their bodies is Hilary Clinton and Martin O’Malley. O’Malley; it is a calculated pose, something he practices and worked out. Maybe from watching Tywin Lannister on Game of Thrones. It is not natural and if you watch him, you will see the calculation in his poses. Clinton is naturally straight and strong. She is a natural born dragon. I voted, in fact, way back then, for her husband, “Bill”, solely because he had this fine woman standing beside him.

White Walkers. No one wants to admit it, but there is very little that is black about Ben Carson. The absolute whiteness of the GOP candidates is stark. Their white-inspired values have driven the country to well known extremes of right wing thought and application. Logically it is a toxic, unsustainable philosophy. The absolute nature of reality demands compromise, accommodation, the middle way is the only way with an opening and these men without imagination show us exactly nothing. Imagination is how the soul itself explains life to the body, how reality is crafted into the art of life. The GOP is proud, crows like an over-dosed rooster, about its absolute lack of imagination, of a vision for sharing our humanity. How is it even possible that such men, and women, and traitors from other races, stand with straight faces, their pockets filled with cash, the world’s cameras and microphones attuned to their every word? The media itself has become quite hysterical. A year out and the main stream media outlets are into their fourth month of breathless, relentless, excluding all else coverage of every word and gesture of the political right. As if nothing else was happening in the world at all. I think if we went back and asked people, we would discover than thousands, perhaps millions of voters went for Bill Clinton because they had confidence in his wife.

It is painful. In my 60 plus years of following the United States, I have never seen anything like it…and I felt this way back when Mr Romney, that whitest of all the white walkers, ascended to the candidacy in 2012. Now it is even worse, even more bizarre It may be hopeless. A spiral downwards into a pit frothed with the narrow mediocrity and obscenity of Republican Ideas. It hurts my heart. I lament for all of humanity, it is to much work now even to become angry. Because I don’t see how it can change. I fully expect Hilary Clinton to be the next US President. And if the people of the waiting world witnessed the absolute contempt and disrespect of the Republicans toward the man of colour, Obama, I fully expect them to double down when the enemy of the GOP becomes, at long last, A Woman. The foreseeable future does not offer up much hope at all. 

Voters are they key to everything. If the voters would actually elect Democrats across all tickets, all across the country, locally and nationally, then yes, everything would change and change quickly. Americans might even like it. How likely is it that voters will recognise their power at this moment in history? I am not optimistic. The voter count, the percentage of the population that will get off its ass and vote is to small. Most intelligent analysis informs us that if all the voters who are actually registered would vote, the government would be filled with progressive leadership. People don’t vote. The percentage of people willing to actually vote is to small, almost criminally so. When I think of a bat shit crazy country like India, where nearly 100 per cent of the people who can vote actually do vote and look at America with 37 or 45 percent voter turn out, I feel only a hopelessness that is difficult to articulate, to overcome. Combine the low turnout of voters with the calculated and relentless suppression of the vote by the white walkers of the GOP and you have the full measure for the ingredients which make up what we now have, laughingly, as a government. No argues that the Congress and the Senate have become almost nothing. Not legislating. Not leading. Not fixing problems. Not taking this great country anywhere. We are on a narrow highway to nowhere.

“Ronald Reagan proved to Republicans that reality and facts don’t matter; it’s simply the story that matters. We know now, though it was carefully hidden at that time, that his mind was gone, that he was legally insane with degenerative brain disease through much of his presidency. Whether it’s global warming, trickle-down economics, weapons of mass destruction or Ben Carson’s personal history: if the fiction is entertaining enough, it overrides objective reality and becomes the tribal mythThat’s the only reason Fox “News” can continue doing business, and it will determine how a huge swath of Americans vote. I can’t express how much this terrifies me.”
…Randyman, a “Gawker” comment re: Ben Carson

I chose above just a random quote of some of the comments made online by incredulous observers. Two vile patterns are noteworthy…(1) Fear of Hillary. They have gotten millions of people to believe “she is a liar” just by saying it over and over, even though she is the most investigated person on earth, in the history of the earth, and they got nothing. (2) The Republican party is dominated by, and deeply infected by a sociopathic majority that has not even an idea about in what direction the truth actually resides, or what to do about it. Both of these extremes boast millions of advocates that stand with them with billions of dollars to give to that cause.

Jon Stewart where are you? We need him to explain, to guide us through this national cluster fuck of our American future. He could not have left us at a time when we needed him more. I can’t find the funny in this scenario. I wish I could write a commentary that delivers the perfect gu-faw moment, but I can’t. My humour and sarcasm have failed me, as well, just when I need them most.

In 1968 I was in the southern jungle of Vietnam when I found out Richard Nixon was elected as US President. I was discouraged. It was bad news for me. I wondered what the hell I was doing in Vietnam. None of those people had ever done anything at all to me. I could never see how they represented any interest to the United States. Yet here we were. Young men whose youth was stolen from them in the fields of war. Yet, now, looking back, Nixon was the Prince of Light compared to the GOP that we endure at this moment. We have moved on from Richard Nixon to Marco The Plastic Cuban” Rubio? Donald “The Bag” Trump? Mike “The Blubber” Huckelberry?

Zombies aspire to eat brains. We are witnessing a campaign by a political party for the most important job in the world. Where is the discussion about this world? Where is the exciting and brilliant vision for what we can all do together? It does not exist in the GOP. Only the hunger to eat brains, to score cheap tricks and “appear Presidential”…a ruse, a pose, a shuffling meat line of ugly bags of mostly water.

When Obama was elected US President, it broke the Republican Party. While one could argue that among the voters there yet exists those who seek and would support a “Republican”, the real truth is that there is no such creature. It has exploded into (stinking) fragments and the parts are nowhere near each other. Mending something so broken seems improbable. Yet that same broken machine dominates 37 or so state legislatures and both houses of Congress. Like Zombies with arms hacked off, they still have some power to be dangerous and destructive. It is broken the way a threatening, wounded animal is broken.

Only the mythical voter can change this bad situation. The Walking Dead know this so they suppress the vote, feverishly, obviously and without much effective resistance from The Reasonable People. If a true and actual majority of real registered voters would vote on November 7, 2016, everything would in fact to change. Those of us who are paying attention understand that the real majority of Americans support reason and cooperation.


Argh…! Capice?

Friday, September 25, 2015

Equinox : September : Power of the Old Dog

23 September 2015 : 10:20 am CET


starlight
gathering near my finger tips
dream songs
carry me in my sleep
yes
my friends
the mysteries are all around us
close by



I am sitting with memories, the shadows of my wisdom, distant ring of my experience, my elusive powers. 

Wishing I could do something to help the Waiting World. Retirement is upon me. Nothing. I don’t like it. Tears run down my cheeks as I read and watch the Troubles. Trouble. Everywhere.

I have been reading. A lot. More than ever. Like when I was a young boy. I stayed holed up in my room and read books. And comics. But lots of books. Thoreau. Julius Ceaser. Mark Twain. Marvel. Alexander Dumas. The Count of Monte Cristo is probably my favorite book. Also Talbut Munday. Robert E Howard. Lord Dunsanay. Books. Printed on paper. Today the books are on my iPad. Electronic books. They have lots of typos and bad formatting. Even the best sellers. Ebooks are kind of tacky and poorly edited. This seems so strange to me. Right from the start, and now eve years later, ebooks are kind of retrograde, poor quality, yet just as expensive.

Reading is frustrating. It helps with the restless, the frustration. The longing for action that sucks the vitality out of retired old dogs like me.

Last night  dreamed of a great ceremony, with thousands of Indians. I was standing on the earth singing with all my power. It was great. I awakened. Alone in my bed. I could still feel the rush of energy that came from the song. The feeling of my feet on the earth. Just a dream. O. Yeah.

I am a kind of priest. A keeper of tribal sacred ceremonies. I have made thosands of ceremonies. Prayers. Rituals. They have changed lives. Sometimes. I used to love doing that. A correct tribal ceremony is filled with all sorts of energies and revelations. It was easy to love work like that.

Some time ago I lost that Feeling. The modern people over here in Italy don’t seem to get it. The work started seeming like a waste of time. Modern people have no faith. There is no root to tap into. There is no history to continue. There is no magic in their blood. No mystery in their expectations. Modern people seem bored. Boredom is a formidable obstacle. I don’t want to compete with their boredom. I retired rather than compete. After 30 years of praying on the belly of the sacred earth, I looked up and saw strangers. Ghosts. Boredom.

So I had a heart attack. It lasted 12 hours. Then I retired. Started collecting my social security check. $327 every month. Usually on the 2nd day of the month. Direct deposit into my Italian bank account. They charge me $25 to do that.

So I started reading. History. Biographies. Fiction. Fantasies. Mysteries. And watching The News. The Donald Trump News Network. And missing Jon Stewart. What a terrible moment to loose Jon Stewart, just when we need him the most. Loosing Jon Stewart has contributed to my Bad Feeling.

I fit in well with the online universe. Not so much with the real life universe. I never really belonged anywhere in particular. My parents were from diverse origins. I was/am part one thing, part something else. Not belonging anywhere really. A child of the cracks between the worlds. Not really accepted by either side. On my own. I chose my own side. The Old Indians. I grooved on the dignity and personal power they cultivate as they sit at the edge of the world in home made houses not shown on maps or listed in the phone book. My people.

The Pop is here. I watched him on Rachel Maddow’s show. It brought tears to my eyes. Watching him hug and kiss people. Watching him ask young people to pray for him. “I really need it”, he said. It breaks my heart that earlier in the day he made a Saint of a Spanish Priest who murdered 80,000 American Indians. I don’t understand why American Indians are at the bottom of every list in the world. The American Indians do not matter to the world, to anyone. The American press does not even cover this story or report on the opposition and heartbreak of the American Indians of the United States who all oppose this absurd act. This great Pope has love for everyone, except the American Indians. Yet I had tears of humility for the loving way he treats people when he is on the street…and his courage for his upcoming address to the United States government, in a rare joint session of the Congress and Senate on Thursday. Later, after he made his historic speech, we learned that he wants us to listen to the Radical Voice inside our souls…to travel to the edges and the margins and embrace what is different and think more clearly about our choices. He made John Boehner cry. Me to. He held up two notorious radicals as Best Examples of Good Catholics. Radicals like me, an Old Dog panting in the Crevices of Time wondering what to do next. I was disappointed at the civility of his speech…in that he treated the combined House and Senate as if they are in fact a reasonable body when clearly they are not….here in the “Land of Dreams”. I am a kind of Priest, like the Pope. I understand how a good one thinks. Always the message is simple. Practical. Have the courage to do the right thing while respecting the dignity of all life and all people. The Old Indians have always said exactly this. I say exactly this to the face in the mirror that greets me every morning.

Yesterday (Wednesday) my wife and I found a little creek and made a little fire and had a little ceremony to welcome in the Equinox, say goodbye to Summer. It was sweet and nice. Simple. There were wild tomatoes growing all over the place. Beautiful tress filled with little birds singing. A light rain fell as we finished the ceremony. Just before the ceremony I composed and emailed my Equinox Poem. I have composed a poem for every equinox and solstice at least since 1975.

Earlier this year I composed and published a collection of these poems into a little book, “Under The Drum”. You can find out more about that at this link. 

The Moon’s Sacred Light. This weekend will be a great, bright, dramatic full moon. Aside from its drama, human beings no longer pay much attention to the Moon. Ancient peoples used the Moon as their calendar much more than they did the Sun. This great Moon will be the first of the new season. A gathering Moon. It is likely we will be up in Milano and making a nice ceremony with friends to gather up some of this energy. We have a ceremonial fire in Milan that has been going 12 years now. It will be a perfect place and moment to reflect on what has gone before and what might happen next.

Update: RE: The Pope

Yes. Papa Francis is doing a fine bit of work. His energy, endurance, strength and consistency is truly impressive. He has done a solid days work every day. Under the sacred rules of order and method he has created a series of true ceremonies, true elements of the mystery life have been invoked. Yet through it all the question of his contempt and disregard of every issue related to the treatment and policy of the church to American Indians is nearly of a criminal nature. The whole affair is not in balance. This is after all the real problem with the Wa of the Dog.

Equinox Twenty Fifteen

Bologna Italy

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